We all talk about falling asleep curled around our Iphones and checking twitter before crawling out of our beds in the morning. I can relate. I can’t fall asleep unless I check Facebook just one more time. When I’m bored in class I have to scroll through Tumblr to keep myself awake. These sites keep me busy when I’m awkwardly waiting for someone or keep my eyes open in class, but until yesterday, I had never realized that these aren’t the sources of media I’m most closely, emotionally aligned with.
A few days ago someone stopped to ask Professor Proctor what it’s like to be married to a feminist and if it’s hard. I remember liking his quick response, but I also thought he didn’t give himself enough credit. It really takes a certain type of person to date someone with strong feminist ideals. It takes a strong person to allow their girlfriend or wife to get heated, sometimes too much, about women’s issues. I’ll be the first to admit I can fly off the handle in an argument. I’ll “black out” for the time being while I’m yelling about some injustice or inequality or my point of view. So, when I think back to yesterday when my boyfriend and I were discussing (and disagreeing…loudly) about a certain issue in society, I don’t remember much. I vaguely remember slamming my car into park in a parking garage and getting entirely too excited and aggressive. After calming down, getting through dinner while feeling a bit drained, but still on edge, we got back to campus. Walking into the dorms, he pressed play on Pandora, which started playing Fast Car by Tracy Chapman. Within hearing the first moments of the song I physically felt this wave of calm wash over me.
The song transformed me to memories of me being a little girl in some linen dress at a folk festival with my peace-loving parents with their long hair and now thirty-five year marriage.
It’s music. It’s music that made me calm down and just stop and take a deep breath. The music brought me back to being aware of the fact that I can’t treat an argument like a catastrophic event that I have to win. It’s music that connected me to hearing Fast Car home in Hartland with my parents. It’s music that has comforted me when I was a lonely freshman feeling lost at Manhattanville or a sad teenager going through her first break up. Facebook may connect me to people I love, but music has overwhelmingly reinforced me. It has time and time again brought me back from “psycho girlfriend Mia” or “stressed out on the brink of a breakdown Mia”. This is the source of media I am physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually intertwined with. Facebook will never be able to do what music does to me. Maybe I only need my Iphone for Itunes.